four quid and more for a bloody salad

ok, so the posh salad shop has started charging per weight, rather than bowl size, i have now purchased a salad for the princely sum of £4.15. Although some may say they have purchased a salad from the same posh shop for over 7 pounds, I challenge them that they also bought tofu and seeds and maybe cheese to get to that sum (you know who you are, and yes, everybody else knows who you are as well... if they don't, you're lisa, so now they do... right... thats sorted then). So anyway, the salad in question features the 'shroom, and lots of it, which is good, ace even. I have garnished the meal with a side of diet cola as is the tradition.

In a cruel twist of fate there are no forks in the kitchen, not even in the dishwasher or the sink, and i was willing to phone up mummy to ask how to wash one up. so i am having to eat my salad with a knife and spoon. yes. like a spaz.