Saturday, November 26, 2005

Eggs is Eggs

OMFG! IT'S THE T-REPORT! People of Earth, we are sorry for the disruption of service lately, this was due mainly to the fact that none of have eaten for months as part of a hunger strike against erm... the congestion charge, or something like that, whatever, anyway, here's a blog, now shut it.

tonight we made eggs, or to be more precise, we 'poached' eggs. this does not mean we dressed in waxed jackets, hiked into the woods around old man mcGeorge's house and thrust handfuls of hastely theived eggs into large pockets sewn into the lining of afore mentioned waxed jackets, no it means this:

step 1: create a cling film cradle in a cup and add one egg.


step 2: tie ends of cradle so cradle becomes a bundle (as seen at the end of Dick Whittington's stick).


step 3: et voilĂ .


step 4: we pimped this part with the addition of a freezer clip to ensure maximum egg security.


step 5: repeat steps 1 to 4 with 7 more cups, 7 more eggs, 7 more bits of cling film, and 7 more freezer clips. create smiley face with cups.


step 5+7 = 12: place one of our jolly little pockets of egg into a big old boiling pan of water.


step 13: guess what happens to the rest of it's jolly little friends? you guessed it, it's scolding time! die eggs die!


step 14: wait for 4 mins, (maybe have a quick dump, or see how many times you can say the word "eggs" before you get bored), then remove the one of our brave little soldiers from its grizzly tomb of scolding heat and pain.


step erm, 17 or something?: unwrap and BEHOLD! you have create a beautiful replica of mozzarella cheese using the medium of egg. ... repeat with all the other ones, yada yada yada, i'm so bored of the other guys, lets just concentrate on these 2 from now, as these are the only 2 i'll be eating so they are the only ones that really matter.


step whatever: add smoked cod, pot a la mash, plus the pea.


steps greatest hits: stab the little sod right through its pale lifeless flesh and stuff its innards down your cake hole.


the end. now i remember why i stopped doing these blogs.