howdy y'all

well lads, and indeed lass, here we are in the land of guns, meat and fat people. I've got quite a few t-reports backed up here so lets just cut the crap and get right onto it:

Weds, L

this one was on the aeroplane, it was called 'dinner' but served at lunch time, it was a bit confussing but i decided to just buckle down and get it on board. here we had snake korma, plus the rice, also white and brown roll (as per usual with curry), and pasta salad (as per usual with curry), a 'yummy' caramel/chocolate pudding thing (as per usual with curry), a glass of white wine(as per usual with curry), a bottle of water and also tea (as per usual with curry).

Weds (L) 6, confussed

Weds, AT

ok, so we're still on the plane, and now i have to introduce a new meal type: AT = Afternoon Tea. in this case it featured a ham and cheese bag, plus some stuff called 'fruit' (some new kind of sweets i think), and more tea (coffee was also available).

Weds (AT) 6, gapfilling

Weds, T

o dear, this is where the real eating began, o men, o lady, this was eating at Ponderosa. Its like cheap as chipeds and lots of it. Firstly there was the buffet, which featured many things including: cheese pasta stuff, the broc, the corn, meat balls, snake legs, snake nuggets, the rice (2 flavours), crispeds, and token salad stuffs. This was then followed by whats called 'sirloin tips'. like steak thats been cut up by your mum. mum was pleased we ordered this as she didn't have to do any cutting up. also included was backed potatoe with one shed load of very yellow stuff which was called 'butter'. The onion also played a roll, as did garlic breads. then, and only then, we started to attack the desert buffet, they had jello (jelly) in colours i didn't know existed, crazy steve had a what looked like a bowl of chocolate chips and hundreds and thousands, it was insane kids, a real mess. This was when the proper food related pain begun, properly hard to walk out of there. a good pain.

Weds (T) 8, bountyfull

Thurs, L

ok, now we're getting serious, this was in the god damn magic kingdom you mother hugging sons o beetches. we dined in a little place we know, just in the arse end of frontier land, round the corner from adventure land. it's an intimate venune where we dined with just a few thousand other food enthusiasts. it was a simple, but good L, let me break it down for you:

• pulled pork
• bap
• the mush
• the 'nion
• the chipeds (the 'freedom fries' thing is a myth by the way kids)
• dip: honey a la mustard
• diet coke a la cola for beverage

Thurs (L) 9, messy(inagoodway)

Thurs, L (afters)

well for afters we got a couple of Mickey Cookies and Cream Sandwhichs on board. no jimmy, this doesn't involve bread, or 'cream' as you'd think of it, or even proper 'cookies'. but even so, it still seemed to go down very well. the ratio between ice-cream dna biscuit was technically perfect.

Thurs (L (afters)) 9, almost-perfect

Thurs, T

omg people, this is a classic meal, its simply known in Flipperish as ' the chicken' (roughly translated to 'chicken tenders' in american english). this consists of chicken fillets, deep fried in a kind of, well i don't want to say 'batter' becuase that would sound too KFC, and we're a whole world away from there right now, and its not exactly bread crumbs... oh wait, maybe it is bread crumbs, mmm, no, its batter, i think, surfice to say its 'good shit'. well the meal features 3 of these little beauties, the chipeds, and 2 (count them) 2 dips, honey dijon and bbq.

Thurs (T) 10, classic

in addition t all this a wealth of snacks have been/are being consummed, these include:

• ritz bbq crackers
• ritz peanut butter crackers
• publix own brand cheese puffs
• funyuns onion flavoured rings
• crispy creme donuts

well kids, thats about it for now, this report is actually out of date even when i send it as its taken me a few days to write it and get the images done, we have much more t data to publish over the next few weeks, stay tuned and watch the skies, anything could happen in the next half hour.